Well, let me tell ya, I heard some knee-slappers the other day. Gonna tell you the best soccer jokes I know. You gonna be rollin’ on the floor laughin’, I guarantee it! These are good ones, real good ones. Soccer, you know? That game with the ball and the feet.

Best Soccer Jokes
Why was the soccer ball so smart? It used its head! Haha, get it? Head! Like headin’ the ball. That one always gets me.
And here’s another one. Why are soccer players like babies? They both dribble all the time! Oh, I just about died when I heard that one. Dribble, like with the spit, and dribble, like with the ball. These are the best soccer jokes, I tell ya.
- What did the soccer ball say to the foot? You kick me around!
- Why couldn’t the team listen to music? Because they broke all the records! Records! Like on the field and like the music ones.
- What do you call a dinosaur wearing a soccer uniform? A score-us!
Now, picture this. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score! Tie! Like with the string and like a tied-up game. They just keep gettin’ better, don’t they? I just love these soccer jokes. They’re funny, you know?
More Soccer Jokes For You
Here’s a good one for ya. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in soccer? Ghoul-keeper! Keeps the ghouls out, I guess. I don’t know, it just tickles me. Good one, right?
What kind of tea do soccer players drink? Penal-tea! Get it? Penalty? That’s a good one. I heard that one down at the, well, never you mind where I heard it. It’s a good one, that’s all that matters. It’s one of the best soccer jokes, that’s for sure.
- Why was the soccer field wet? Because the players dribbled all over it!
- Why did the soccer player stand on his tiptoes? He wanted to play high!
- What do soccer players and magicians have in common? They both do hat tricks!
Okay, okay, here’s another one. What did the receiver say to the soccer ball? Catch you later! Catch, like catch the ball, and later, like see you later. Oh, these are just too much!

Funny Soccer Jokes, You Betcha
Why was Cinderella such a bad soccer player? Because she always ran away from the ball! Ran away, you see? And she lost her shoe, that Cinderella. Funny stuff. These are some of the best soccer jokes, you bet your boots.
And why did the goalie bring a net to the bakery? Because he heard there were turnovers! Turnovers, like in the game and like the pastries! Oh, I just love a good turnover, both kinds!
- What does a soccer player say on Halloween? Trick or treat!
- Why was the fish so good at soccer? He had great fins!
- Where do soccer players dance? At a foot-ball!
You know what they say, a good laugh is good for what ails ya. And these soccer jokes, they’re just the ticket. Here’s one for the road: Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of getting kicked around!
Laugh With These Soccer Jokes
Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! Cheetahs, like the fast cats, and cheaters, like in the game. Oh, that’s a clever one, that is.
And here’s another knee-slapper. What’s a soccer player’s least favorite vegetable? A goal-iflower! I don’t know why, but that one just cracks me up. It’s silly, ain’t it? But that’s what makes it one of the best soccer jokes.
- Why couldn’t the bad team score a goal? They didn’t have a striker!
- Why did the soccer ball have a bad grade? Because it was always getting Fs!
- What do you call a dog who’s good at soccer? A score-gi!
I hope you enjoyed these jokes, and they are some of the best soccer jokes. I sure had fun tellin’ ’em. Remember, laughter’s like sunshine, it brightens up your day. So go on, share these jokes, spread a little sunshine around. You might even say, they’re a real kick! Haha, get it? A real kick! Like in soccer! Oh, I’m just too much today!
