Alright, let’s yak about this hamilton straight thing, whatever that is. Sounds fancy, but I bet it ain’t nothin’ us plain folk can’t figure out.

Now, I hear tell it’s got somethin’ to do with hair. You know, that stuff on your head? Some folks got a lot, some got a little, some got none at all. This here hamilton straight, I reckon it’s about makin’ that hair… straight. Like a stick, I guess.
I seen gals with hair all curly-wurly, like a pig’s tail. And then I seen some with hair hangin’ down straight as rain. This straight hair thing, it seems like some folks want it real bad. Why, I don’t rightly know. Seems like a lot of fuss to me.
But if you’re one of them folks who wants that stick-straight hair, I heard tell there’s ways to get it. They got these… whatchamacallits… straighteners, I think they call ‘em. Hot irons, basically. You clamp ‘em on your hair and pull ‘em down, and poof! Your curls are gone. Like magic, but with heat.
- Now, I ain’t never used one of them things myself. My hair, it does what it wants. Sometimes it’s curly, sometimes it’s straight, sometimes it’s just a mess. And that’s just fine by me.
- But these young’uns, they like to fuss with their hair. They got all sorts of goop and gadgets. And this here hamilton straight, it sounds like just another one of them things.
- I heard some folks say you can get that straight hair look in just a few minutes with the right tools. Two minutes, they say! Imagine that. Spendin’ two whole minutes just on your hair. Land sakes, I got better things to do.
They got these fancy hair places, too. Salons, they call ‘em. You go in there, and they do all sorts of things to your hair. Cut it, color it, straighten it, curl it… Costs a pretty penny, too, I bet. I’d rather spend my money on a good bag of flour and some sugar. At least I can make somethin’ useful with that.
But I guess if you want that sleek, straight look, you gotta do what you gotta do. Some folks say it makes ‘em feel pretty, or fancy, or whatever. And that’s alright, I suppose. Long as they ain’t hurtin’ nobody.
I also heard tell that even if you got naturally wavy hair, it’s easy to wear it most of the time, but sometimes you want it ultra-sleek. So these hot iron things must work pretty good. I seen some pictures of gals with hair so straight it looked like it was painted on. Shiny, too. Like a brand-new car. Not my cup of tea, but to each their own, I say.

Now, if you’re gonna use one of them straighteners, be careful, you hear? I heard tell they can burn your hair right off if you ain’t careful. And nobody wants that. Bald as a cue ball ain’t a good look on nobody, ‘cept maybe a baby. And even then, they grow it back soon enough.
And don’t forget about all them sprays and stuff they use. They say it helps keep the hair straight and shiny. But I bet it’s full of chemicals. Just like everything else these days. Can’t hardly get a good, honest loaf of bread no more without a bunch of stuff in it you can’t even pronounce.
So, this here hamilton straight… It’s about gettin’ straight hair, plain and simple. Whether you use a hot iron thingy, go to a fancy salon, or use some kind of magic potion, it’s all the same in the end. You’re tryin’ to make your hair do somethin’ it don’t naturally do.
And you know what I think? I think your hair is just fine the way it is. Curly, straight, wavy, whatever. It’s your hair, and it’s part of what makes you, you. But if you want that straight hair style, go ahead and get it. Just don’t go burnin’ your hair off or spendin’ all your money on it. There’s more important things in life than a head full of perfectly straight hair.
Anyways, that’s all I know about this hamilton straight stuff. Like I said, I ain’t no expert. Just an old woman with her own hair and her own opinions. And that’s all there is to it.